Tried it again last night and still cant see each other, the xrealm booster has not done any Ice Crown questing but they are still phased
ah well either just keep instance boosting or try my hand at multiboxing
or of course i could pay to transfer my 85 to new realm
edit - i was trying in the old spot at cathedral. didnt try this spot with a xrealm booster. though i did try it with a 90 but the xp wanst good. moved to running different dungeons for guild achieves and quests and it was more productive for me i think.
now trying to decide if i transfer a 85 lock and avoid leveling one with my bonus raf levels or a pally (currently on new server my pally is substantially higher than my lock - so would allow more bonus levels to be granted to other toons)