Whats your Fav. Joke?

[Slikker]

Mine is a bit rude only if u understand what the principal is thinking but it does NOT actually say anything rude.

Just mention your favourite joke here guys

A first-grade teacher, Ms Tulip (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked," Boy, what is your problem?"

Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Tulip had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Tulip he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.

Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Tulip and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade. "

Ms Tulip says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.

Ms Tulip asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Tulip: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."

Ms Tulip: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut

Ms Tulip: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum

Ms Tulip: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands

Ms Tulip: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.

Ms Tulip: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent

Ms Tulip: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring

Ms Tulip: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose

Ms Tulip: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow

Ms Tulip: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Fire truck

Ms Tulip: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it u have to use your hand.
Boy: Fork

Ms Tulip: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME

Ms Tulip: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to OXFORD UNIVERSITY EVEN I GOT THE LAST TEN QUESTION WRONG MYSELF"

[Saedusii]

Your face.

Oh snap.

[Phygar]

There were four people sitting in a train compartment: an old lady who was knitting, a young woman who was reading a book, a lecturer who was talking about his research, and his young student whom he was taking to a conference, and who was listening to his lecturer and taking down notes.
This situation continued for quite a while. The old lady knitting, the young woman reading, the lecturer talking away, and the student listening.
Then the train went into a tunnel, and the compartment was plunged into darkness. No-one could see anything. Suddenly there came the sound of a loud kiss, followed by a hearty slap. As the train came out of the tunnel, eveyone was in the same position as they had been before.
Now the old lady thought that she knew what had happened. Good for her, she thought, that young man has just kissed the girl, and she slapped him.
The young woman thought that she knew what had happened. How funny, but I thought, nah forget it, yo homes! to Bel Air!

[Demon within]

Hahahah, that's a long one, Slikker, but well worth reading ^^

Oh well, I'll just come with a short one:

- Do you know what you call a blonde with a brain?
- Euhmm... No idea?
- A Golden retriever!

[Slikker]

what about.. ahh ohh yeh

- What did the blondes left leg say to the blondes right leg??? Between you and me we can make alot of moneyz

[Pacemaker]

i Got a good joke for ya, a bit crud but listen up

A Boy is behind his house playing with himself and he blows a load all over a rock,

the kid had never done it before so he freaks out and runs inside and yells for his dad,

the father was siting in his lazyboy chair and ask's his son whats wrong.

the kid explains he was outback and what had happened,

the father looks past his son back at the tv and replies "don't worry son thats how babies are made"

the kid goes back out behind the house and looks at the rock,

but now theres a frog on the rock, the kid looks at the frog and says,

"You may be an ugly lil bastard........but daddy loves you"

[Pacemaker]

Here's another one for ya:

What was Helen keller's dog's name ...........nurrrnahnurrrr

Why did helen have a yellow leg......... Because nurrnahnurrr was blind to

[anduril66]

I'm levelling a mage.

Why is levelling a mage like being Irish?

Because its fight drink, fight drink, fight drink.