A Sad Day in Theramore

[Tassadaru]

Greetings. This little piece of text was taken from mmo-champion, and is composed by one of their very own forum members, Breccia. I just thought that it's funny and would be nice to share it with the community, it cracked me up quite a bit, lol. I don't take credits for it, all credits go to it's original author, Breccia.

A Sad Day in Theramore

Thrall: Knock, knock, anyone home?
Jaina: Thrally!
Thrall: I was in the neighborhood...
Jaina: Aww, did you come all this way just to see me?
Thrall: Ok, yes, you got me.
Jaina:That's so sweet! I mean, I know it's not easy for you to run through Alliance territory--
Loud Voice from Outside: Dustwallow is NOT Alliance! It's a contested zone!
Jaina:...you brought Garrosh Hellscream?
Thrall: Yeah, he's my ride.
Jaina: But...
Garrosh: I think that's all the Theramore guards. I'll work on their shopkeepers and profession trainers while you two are talking.
Thrall: Hey! We talked about this already! Just...stand outside or something.
Garrosh: Fine.
Jaina: Um...what's going on?
Thrall: Yeah...we need to talk.
Jaina: OK...
Thrall: It's kind of important.
Jaina: Uh huh...
Thrall: Jaina, honey...I gotta go.
Jaina: Go?
Thrall: And I don't think the long-distance thing is gonna work out.
Jaina: Wait, go where?
Thrall: It's--
Jaina: Because I'm a mage, you know? Like, a REALLY good one. I can make a portal to anywhere. Whenever! See look--
Thrall: No, I believe you--
Jaina: There, see?
Sartharion: WHAT THE...WHO KEEPS OPENING THOSE?
Thrall: Yes, dear, I know.
Sartharion: I SMELL SWAMP WATER. IS THAT YOU, ONYXIA? I TOLD YOU, I DON'T DATE LEVEL 60 RAID BOSSES.
Thrall: Onyxia's 80 now! Jeez.
Sartharion: OH REALLY? MAN I SHOULD LOOK HER UP.
Thrall: Anyhow, I'm needed in the elemental planes. All of them. I'll be moving around a lot for a while.
Jaina: (sniff) The elemental planes?
Thrall: Yeah, it's a shaman thing. And they're not really big on, um, "unnatural" magic in there. No offense.
Jaina: But if we (sniff) work together...
Thrall: It's just not going to work out. I'm sorry, baby.
Jaina: But (snort) you said that (snorglrt) we could (sno-sno-snort)
Thrall: Ok I can't understand you anymore.
Jaina: Y-y-you said (snorglrlgrlrt)
Thrall: Here, blow hard.
**KABOOOOOM**
Thrall: Ow! Arcane explosion? Damn, woman!
Garrosh: My warchief! Has she--
Thrall: No, we're ok, aren't we?
Jaina: (sniff) (sniff) (sniff) uh-huh...(sniff)
Thrall: Seriously, just wait outside.
Garrosh: Whatever.
Jaina: ...so...(sniff)...you're saying...(sniff)...it's over?
Thrall: I'm really sorry, honey. But I have to go save the multiverse. They need me in there.
Jaina: But (sniff) you can't hearth on the weekends? Or send (sniff) letters or something?
Thrall: It's not like this is a vacation. I don't want to go, baby, you know that. But I have to save the world.
Jaina: But (sniff)
Thrall: And that means humans, too, remember?
Jaina: But (sniff) we were talking about children. Re(sniff)remember?
Thrall: Yes, I remember. We looked it up. There's only been like one half-orc in the history of ever. What was her name?
Jaina: Ga(sniff)Garona Halforcen.
Thrall: And what did she do?
Jaina: She (sniff) she killed King Wrynn.
Thrall: She killed King Wyrnn. Yes.
Jaina: Is this because of that one time I soloed the Lich King and brought him down to like 80%? Because I'm sure you could--
Thrall: No, this isn't about your ex.
Jaina: Is this because I'm like two feet taller than you?
Thrall: Actually I'm a big fan of that, really.
Jaina: Is it--
Thrall: Come on, earthquakes? Elemental rifts? Seas of lava, armies of cultists, Twilight Saga posters everywhere?
Jaina: Twilight HAMMER.
Thrall: Whatever. Anyhow you know this is serious. You know I have to do this.
Jaina: But--
Thrall: And I need YOU here, in the physical world of Azeroth. You're the most powerful mage I've ever met, and I need you ready in case I fail. Nobody else is strong enough.
Jaina: Um...ok...
Thrall: AND I need your calm mind keeping some amount of peace between Horde and Alliance, in case--
Garrosh: Get away from me, you dwarf runt! Do I look like a questgiver to you?
Thrall: Well, something like that, for example.
Garrosh: You want a quest? How about a fetch quest? Go fetch my axe! (distant yelp) It's over there, stuck in your flight master.
Jaina: You...(sniff) you really need this?
Thrall: I do. WE do. This is for the good of the whole world. You know I wouldn't leave you for anything less, right?
Jaina: (sniff) well...
Thrall: Come on, you know I love you. You know that.
Sartharion: IF YOU TWO ARE GOING TO GET MUSHY, CLOSE THAT DAMN PORTAL FIRST. I'M DRY-HEAVING ALREADY.
Jaina: Fine.
Sartharion: THAT'S BET*pop*
Jaina: But now what am I going to do? I can't date anyone in the Alliance anymore. I'm blacklisted after our time together.
Thrall: Well, there's lots of Horde men. How about Lor'themar Theron? He's pretty.
Jaina: Oh, please, like HE dates women.
Thrall: Vol'jin's a good guy.
Jaina: I heard he was seeing that tiger lady.
Thrall: Oh right. Sylvanus?
Jaina: HAH. In whose dreams, mister?
Thrall: What about Cairne?
Jaina: Isn't he like four hundred?
Thrall: Hmm, yeah. Well, his son's pretty virile. And have you see that spear he carries?
Jaina: Well...I guess maybe--
Thrall: See? You'll be fine. I gotta get moving. You stay strong for me, ok?
Jaina: ...ok...
Thrall: I'll stop by the second this whole "end of the world" thing is over, I promise. Come on, Garrosh.
Garrosh: Listen, I love seeing humans reduced to tears and all, don't get me wrong. But that was harsh, even by my standards.
Thrall: Players gotta play

Breccia
Original post and credits go to Breccia of mmo-champion

[pauk]

well, was kinda funny, not best read ever but still pretty funny