The Helplessness of a Father in the Internet Age

[AfterMidnight]

Source: The Helplessness of a Father in the Internet Age - Science and Tech - The Atlantic

A few days ago, an 11-year-old posted a video of herself responding to online critics with a foul-mouthed piece of little girl bravado. She was so profane and mildly amusing that she became, in Gawker's words, a "microcelebrity among Internet tween scenesters."

People posted her name and address to 4chan, a site known for rather extreme pranks. Soon, she was being harassed not just online, but in real life. Call girls and pizza deliveries began to show up at their home from the great electronic beyond.

Today, her father got involved. In some room with wall-to-wall carpeting, in some house near a mall, this father tried to protect his daughter from the pain the world can inflict. As she sat crying in the foreground, he kneeled behind her and roared into a webcam at the nameless, faceless forces who had reduced his daughter to tears.

She was scared, and he had to do something.

"This is from her father. You bunch of lying, no-good punks, and I know who it's coming from because I've backtraced it and I know who is emailing and doing it and you'll be reported to the cyber police and state police, so you better not write one more thing or screw with my computer again," he screams. "You'll be arrested. End of conversation. FROM. HER. FATHER. And if you come near my daughter, guess what, consequences will never be the same."

People are mocking his lack of understanding of the Internet ("I've backtraced it"), his invocation of the cyberpolice, etc.

But you know, there was a time when these kinds of threats worked, and maybe it was a good thing. Words like that from a dad just might put a scare into some cruel 13-year-olds on a mission to ruin some kid's life for fun. In the old days, dads could handle harassment of their little girls. They'd pick up the phone line and yell at prank callers. They'd show up at schools and tell some kids to back off.

Parents want to protect their children, but a precondition of that is being able to know what or who the threat is. Father and daughter alike are now living inside one of those nightmares where the thing that's out to get you remains perpetually just out of sight and reach.

FROM. HER. FATHER. Those words used to mean something. Mostly it meant, "I'm a full-grown man and I'm willing to use physical force to stop you from hurting my kid, you punk kid." But who is the man in this video going to scare? Everyone knows his threats are empty, that he's bluffing and helpless. And he does, too, which must make it all the more enraging.

What a sad portrait of parenting in this particular technological age. You can just imagine them sitting around an oak dinner table quietly a few minutes after the video and wondering, "What the hell are we going to do?"

Shortly after I posted this article, a friend wrote in to say, roughly, "Where was her father during the time when she had unfettered, unsupervised Internet access?" I stipulate to her lack of adult supervision. But who didn't have some hours to himself as a kid? With computers as ubiquitous as they -- and kids as good at using them as their parents -- policing (i.e. cyberpolicing) children's online activities isn't simple.

I'm not one to have a huge opignion about everything, but I'm always interrested in that of others.
This kind of thing scares me with regard to the future, what do you guys think of it?

[Tenni-T]

I dont know what to say about this... Dont give your daughter webcam untill she's old enough to think about what she's doing?!

Dont know man, its a hardcore story.

[Remus]

Actually came up in my psychology class, not this explicitly but the act of how values and morals are degrading in the face of the internet. Because of the simple fact of being anonymous people think they can say w.e. they want, do w.e. they want. Most of them get away with it, but without a social change it will keep on degrading.

As for the girl being so young and ON the internet, yeah shame. Parents can't be everywhere to guard every aspect.
The internet isn't as mild as it was back in the day.

It is sad that people have to harm others like that to feel better or for a laugh. Maybe they won't end up into psychopaths, hopefully not...

[Exigious]

I think if she wants to be a dramawhore on the internet, than she got what was coming to her.

[Tenni-T]

I think if she wants to be a dramawhore on the internet, than she got what was coming to her.

Yea because at such a young age everyone knows what kind of person they are, and they sure have developed enough intellect and personality to know exactly what will be the consequence of saying some stupid shit online. Exactly like kids telling their parents that they wish they were dead; when they say something like that someone should come in with an axe and just butcher the parents infront of the kid right? Because saying something like that then they just "Get what is comming to them" Riight? :S -.-'

I think your opinion sucks.

---------- Post added at 02:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:04 PM ----------

Calling an 11-year-old a dramawhore... Come on... :yuck:

[Exigious]

Yea because at such a young age everyone knows what kind of person they are, and they sure have developed enough intellect and personality to know exactly what will be the consequence of saying some stupid shit online. Exactly like kids telling their parents that they wish they were dead; when they say something like that someone should come in with an axe and just butcher the parents infront of the kid right? Because saying something like that then they just "Get what is comming to them" Riight? :S -.-'

I think your opinion sucks.

---------- Post added at 02:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:04 PM ----------

Calling an 11-year-old a dramawhore... Come on... :yuck:

Dude, you're saying that this girl didn't know what she was doing when she posted her video's? That she wasn't looking for a moment of fame. And yeah, you're analogy is perfectly like what I was saying. I mean you captured what I said completely. /sarcasm

If people want to be a dramawhore, talk about their problems, or even post video's for the hell of it- Then they should understand that possibilities of what consequences are.

I'm not blaming the girl, or atleast not 100%. Right now the blame falls on the parents, if the parents saw what she was doing, and okay'ed it than it's their fault. You don't let a girl get on the internet and post video's on a public site unless you know nothing is going to happen. And in this day and age, when can that ever be guaranteed?

[finalball]

Yea because at such a young age everyone knows what kind of person they are, and they sure have developed enough intellect and personality to know exactly what will be the consequence of saying some stupid shit online. Exactly like kids telling their parents that they wish they were dead; when they say something like that someone should come in with an axe and just butcher the parents infront of the kid right? Because saying something like that then they just "Get what is comming to them" Riight? :S -.-'

I think your opinion sucks.

---------- Post added at 02:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:04 PM ----------

Calling an 11-year-old a dramawhore... Come on... :yuck:

I guess you can say, she asked for it. You probably don't like the idea of me saying she deserved it, but if you did some research on what she did (Its all over 4chan at the moment.) she kind of asked for it. Showing off her breasts by lifting her shirt on webcam? Like seriously, she's 11, she shouldn't be doing that to strangers.

An example is, if you're going into a junkyard that is filled with dogs ready to kill, well.. you're most likely going to get killed. You asked for it.
If you take a nude picture of yourself and put it on the PUBLIC internet to strangers, you should know people are going to criticize, harass, stalk, ect. You asked for it.

This is life, if life were meant to be easy then we wouldn't have suffering in this world eh lol.

I believe I was at the age of 9 or 10 when I started using the internet for games such as Runescape, C&C, ect. but I was born (As my past teachers have said) more advanced then most. I knew SOME of the dangers at that age of the internet, and "Online Predators".

We have all these damn morons these days that don't watch over this kids activities over the internet, and these stupid kids that don't know the consequences of having a myspace, facebook, ect. without any privacy settings. If I remember correctly reading, 4chan got her information from her myspace and some website or w/e (Blog?). I have made MANY enemies over the internet that would want me dead, so I use privacy on everything.

[Exigious]

YouTube - Kerligirl13 DUN GOOFED

Dude, if you think she wasn't out there for nothing but fame- Watch that.

[Tenni-T]

All Im saying is that you cant blame a girl who's so young for not thinking about the consequences of her actions... Man I wasn't thinkin about consequences other than being yelled at by my parent before I was I dont know how old... I just think you crossed the line by calling an 11-year-old a whore and I honestly dont think she deserves being harassed in real life for a mistake like that done on the internet. She's so young man, maybe she wanted fame, but not in this way I think... I cant believe that was her intention

Ofc she knew what she was doing, but she sure as hell didnt know what would happen later on..

and yea the parents are probably the ones to blaim I dont know, but you made it sound like you blaimed her. Anyway it was just the whore thing that made me kinda rage cause she prolly doesnt even know wtf a whore ism atleast not a dramawhore

---------- Post added at 02:57 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:56 PM ----------

I havent seen it at all btw, so maybe I shouldnt have opened my mouth more than what I did in my first post.. Anyway I'll check it out as soon as I get to a computer with sound

[finalball]

She posted a pic of herself covering her nipple man... lol

People need to learn, whether its the hard way, that the internet is NOT a friendly place. I'm pretty sure Celebrities learned that the hard way (*Cough* Miley Cyrus *Cough*).

Speaking of... 4chan. It looks like the site is down, that or Verizon decided to restrict access to 4chan again lol.

[Tenni-T]

Hmm... Maybe I'm just too soft hearted when it comes to children.
I cant believe that people think she actually DESERVE to get her life ruined because of a mistake. Yes people need to learn, and people make mistakes but I dont think this girl learns, I think she gets ****ed up in the head if the cases of harassing is as hardcore as I imagine.

You could make an 11-year-old do anything, they are so naive at that age...

[finalball]

Hmm... Maybe I'm just too soft hearted when it comes to children.
I cant believe that people think she actually DESERVE to get her life ruined because of a mistake. Yes people need to learn, and people make mistakes but I dont think this girl learns, I think she gets ****ed up in the head if the cases of harassing is as hardcore as I imagine.

You could make an 11-year-old do anything, they are so naive at that age...

I strongly believe in "Survival Of the Fittest" sure, I show lots of sympathy for every living thing... but you get the rest. Hell, even by my own belief I don't even think i should be alive xD haha. Anyways, she didn't DESERVE it, but she ASKED for it. This isn't a "Oh, that blond woman dressed in some skimpy skirt and revealing top. She asked to be raped!" this is a "Oh, that woman went into a house filled with known rapists. She asked to be raped."

[Tenni-T]

So... She shows her tits (11-year-olds even have tits? :S) = She ASKED to get her real life ruined?

---------- Post added at 03:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:27 PM ----------

... Anyway I havent even watched the videos yet so I'll stay out of the discussion untill Im informed a bit more on the matter.

[Maisteri]

What do we learn from this? Dont be stupid and look like a whore and make youtube videos at the age of 11.

[finalball]

So... She shows her tits (11-year-olds even have tits? :S).

Why don't you go find out? LOL!!!!!