Help a guy out

[Don'tTazeMeBro]

Okay so my computer is a piece of shit Dell from 04 I believe. My mother refuses to buy me a new one atm. First off, I need a way to kill it, as that is the only possible way she'll buy me a new computer. Now I don't care if it's a virus that kills it or whatever, as the method is undetectable or unnoticeable.(wtfspelling?). So once that's completed my next mission is to build a computer, and as you have guessed, I would love some advice as to what I should buy. I'll likely have around 1000 dollars to work with. I know this is kinda a tall order but any help will be rewarded with a +rep and my eternal and undying gratitude / love / sex (whichever you prefer!) So thanks in advance to any help, it really is appreciated.

[BonutDot]

1) remove processor
2) put processor in microwave
3) pretend processor is a hot pocket

[The Maffyx]

Okay so my computer is a piece of shit Dell from 04 I believe. My mother refuses to buy me a new one atm. First off, I need a way to kill it, as that is the only possible way she'll buy me a new computer. Now I don't care if it's a virus that kills it or whatever, as the method is undetectable or unnoticeable.(wtfspelling?). So once that's completed my next mission is to build a computer, and as you have guessed, I would love some advice as to what I should buy. I'll likely have around 1000 dollars to work with. I know this is kinda a tall order but any help will be rewarded with a +rep and my eternal and undying gratitude / love / sex (whichever you prefer!) So thanks in advance to any help, it really is appreciated.

Back up any information you need then take a magnet to the hard drive and say its broken. If you recently talked about it I'd wait a while, and then do it, that way it doesn't look like you purposely sabotaged it.

[Don'tTazeMeBro]

Ohh magnet. Right. Dunno if I have a magnet though LOL.

[The Maffyx]

Ohh magnet. Right. Dunno if I have a magnet though LOL.

Actually was reading around to see if that worked and it doesn't, just take out the memory and it shouldn't boot, that would probably work.

[Don'tTazeMeBro]

Eh I dunno, I think she may have someone check it out or something even though that would cost a couple hundred dollars, she's stupid like that. I'm just completely fed up with this piece of shit, I can barely run wow, or any other game without it lagging. And Itunes skips like a bitch.

[1337pyro]

change some settings in bios... your mother does not know bios. believe me

[Don'tTazeMeBro]

I don't really know bios either. Care to explain something simple I could do?

[Viter]

cant you like extreme overclock it so it will melt in some kind of way? :>

[1337pyro]

change "boot procedure" and your operating system will not boot... and nothing will be damaged
it's located in advanced cmos features i think

[Don'tTazeMeBro]

Alright I'll check that out tonight after she goes to bed. Tomorrow, depending on if it works or not, I'll get back to you either on this piece of junk or her laptop.

[Mirror]

Go download the Sparta batch or w/e that completely destroys everything? Go delete your windows folder and your system 32 and your c drive.

[Kiev]

Take the hard drive out, stamp on it, throw it into a wall, put back in.

Pro.

[LucasGod]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8Ep0seKlN8&feature]YouTube - Want to destroy your computer?[/ame]
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYm8g8FBksU&feature=fvw]YouTube - 5 ways to destroy your computer[/ame]
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPwYeJLOYfo&feature=fvw]YouTube - 10 more ways to destroy your computer[/ame]
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeOpMAJHgvM]YouTube - 10 best ways to destroy a computer[/ame]

kkthxbai

[[Z]em]

somehow pour water onto your motherboard, also put sugar in the water to make it even worse.

As for your new PC i would recomend:
http://www.pugetsystems.com/backtoschool.php