The REAL Instructions for Life

[Alkhara Majere]

It doesn't matter how much you give, there will always be greedy bastards out to take more.

Don't take time out of work to enjoy life's simple pleasures (you'll get fired).

Unless you're rich, nothing you have to say is important.

Love is only as eternal as your wallet.

When you realize you've made a mistake, do the cowardly thing and call it a policy.

If you appreciate the work someone is doing for you, don't tell them. Doing that might warrant a raise that you could spend on yourself.

If you're ugly, you will never get laid (ever).

You must surrender all hopes and dreams to the company you work for because dreaming isn't profitable.

Don't judge people by how they look (except when it comes to love, marriage, employment and net worth).

If you get promoted, don't change the way things are done (no matter how shitty you thought they were-- you're one of them now which makes it okay to walk on people).

It doesn't matter how well you do your job, it's how much ass you kiss.

Live a good, honest, decent life. Just kidding. Lie, cheat and screw around.

Share your wealth with those less fortunate, or at least say that you do to inflate your ego.

Remember that what you wear dictates who your friends are.

There it is. The real rules of life. Not as enthusiastic sounding, but who cares?

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[Enfeebleness]

Thebestpageintheuniverse = win.