[Review] Battle of the Depths, your opinions please

[Cheesy]

Hey guys, I've been working on a story which is supposed to be a school work, completely written by me!
I'm 13, from Sweden and hereby I present you:



I just want you guys opinions on it, and remember, this is only the first 5 chapters. Loads more to come, aiming for around 20 pages.

Download it here: Get it!
PASS: botd

WARNING: If you're lazy and don't feel like reading 5 pages, get off.

Waiting for your opinions, Bye!

[Cheesy]

Noone? I would really like your opinions on it, just take a look...

[Ryuk]

Gonna take a look right now.


(btw i bet your pressing F5 every 5 seconds to see if someone's posted! so i post! )

[Cheesy]

In the first hour, yes But not right now... Tell me what you think later.
Ty mate