Here's a guide I wrote a while ago, you might find a few helpful tips inside:
http://www.ownedcore.com/forums/news...ml#post3270599 ([Guide] Protecting yourself from PayPal chargebacks as a seller)
Now to answer some of your concerns:
1) Never wait for PayPal to resolve a dispute / claim on their own. Always try to call them and see if it's possible to get it solved over the phone / have them close the dispute or claim in your favor.
Their agents who work at different departments have so much power when it comes to disputes & claims. You might have to call them a few times before you get the right agent that will actually help you out. I've personnally done this on multiple occasions as a seller. You might call the first time - the agent will tell you they can't do anything and it will have to wait - which almost is almost not true most of the times.
2) If you sent your money as gift / friends & family then you automatically lose your "buyer protection". It basically means that PayPal will rule the dispute / claim in the seller's favor as soon as you tell them it's an intangible item - the only way out of this is to claim an unauthorized transaction.
3) You made a mistake by escalating it into a claim. You have a better chance of winning a dispute as a buyer for an intangible good compared to a claim because of how protection works. (Buyer loses all protection when it's escalated to a claim because PayPal does not cover intangible goods & services - meaning they will always side with the seller).
Good luck next time.