[Story] How Ozzy Osbourne(the real one) became my fan.

[[Ban Hammer]]

So, back in the good old days i was well known around the world as abit of a player tbh. (I retired now due to the fact that my ***** actually only is 4 inches long)

Well, anyhow - i was known as abit of a player and i actually toured around europe just to have sex. Suddenly a day a unknown guy called Ozzy Osbourne came to me and asked "Hey dude, i know i'm just a guy who wants to be a famous rockstar some day because i heard you get alot of sex from it, but can you teach me how you do?" I said "Sure, but i will have to charge you, and it's hell expensive." He asked "How much?" and i said "20 bucks." He payed and i became his teacher. At first i wanted to see how he would score a girl so i asked him to go to a girl and get her with him home, then i started my stopwatch to see how fast he did it.

He got over to a girl and said "Hey you, my name is Ozzy, what's yours?" the girl turned around and said "Hey, my name is Elizabeth." He was like "Oh, it's the same as my mom's name! Well anyhow, would you like to come to my apartment for secure sex?" She started screaming stuff like "You're disgusting" and "Go home and build some lego or collect mushrooms your nerd!" and the mission had failed.

I was shocked, i've never seen such great a nerd before like Ozzy. He really needed a life for sure. I told him a few tricks that could help him to score. Like imagining that the girl was just a pokemon that was sad, so that he needed to cheer it up by complimenting it. (Always works for me atleast).

After months of training him hard and telling him which pokemons was hot and stuff that teachers do, he was ready for another test. He found a girl and the conversation began.

He walked slowly and steady, he was focused on imagining that the girl was a pokemon. When he came over to her at her table(we were in a bar) he said "Hey, you look lonely. My name is ash ketchup, oh i mean.. My name is Ozzy Osbourne." She answered "Hey there, my name is ashley, yeah. I just got burned off. So i'm quite lonely, wanna come sit at my table?" He was like "Oh yes indeed, btw. I have some quite big pokeballs in my pants, wanna go to my place and see them?" and he succeed.

The next day he thanked me and gave me another 5 bucks for being a great teacher. After a few years he became a famous rockstar and the day today, everytime he is in town, i come visitting him to see how its going with the girls.

END OF STORY!

[stangcobra]

Cool Story bro

[JD]

Nice.... Just... Nice...

[Viter]

Seriously dude... write a few stories, THEN release a book

[Hunterplay]

I loled in RL....+rep if I can

[[Ban Hammer]]

Seriously dude... write a few stories, THEN release a book

Haha, i will see what i can do mate

[Gorka]

gotta say it...pokeball's joke made me laugh xDDD

[RyeRye]

Haha nice.

[Rocker]

Nice, you should make a blog of all your stories haha

[Zore]

Roflmao.
Nice story m8.