Miserable life, Read if you are bored.

[Hasselhoff]

Cool Story Bro....

[assasination]

Hello MMOwned.

It was a while since i last was here, but now im here.
I was searching for a forum to post the most parts of my miserable life, and since i learnt all my programming and 3D designing (infact EVERYTHING i know about Computadorz) i decided to contribute with a little story about me

Before i start, i just want to add, NO i don't play world of warcraft, i did that 3 years ago.. But.. i posted it here on this forum... to make you all realise that everyone should be happy about their lives.

Even since i was a kid at kindergarden, ive been picked and teased on. i always knew it was something wrong with me. I'm living in scandinavia (not gonna tell which country). I always got teased because of my inability to interact with other people, which the doctor later said was some sort of "social disorder" which i call "a disease".

Eventhough that, my parents didn't want to leave me in a hospital for medical attention. I tried to live home as a normal boy, and it went on pretty well, until i came into the puberty.

My "disease" became stronger and stronger, i saw all my friends get girlfriends and so, but i was still lonely. Eventually my friends got separated from me. And it's going to get worse... much worse...

When i was 11 (This is the reason why i stopped playing Wow) a girl started in my class... She was really beautiful and very nice to me.. i fell deeply in love in her, but i was too shy to say anything. But 2 years later, i managed to tell my feelings for her.

The least i can say is that i got rejected, and laughed out by the whole school. It was then i really started to go into my deppression, and realise that this was all my "diseases" fault.

I quitted school, and locked myself in my room. My dad where ofcourse pretty mad at me, and shut the internet from the terminal downstairs, so i spent my days staring on my black wall. I got so tired of it all.. I only got out on nights, and it was then i started to read philosophy. Ive read several political and philosophy books (Everything From "Mein Kampf" to "The Capital" and "The 12th Planet") and my intilectuality raised. I even started to do experiments with Alchemy (Not Chemistry, thats for fags) trying to transmute ordinary coal into Mountain Powder (i think thats the name in english).

As i succeded in those things, my selfconfidence rose, and after 4-5 months i began to go outside again. Everything went on like normal, but my disease grew and grew.

And due my growing disease, i started to reject every emotion i got. I got afraid to fall in love, and to even have contact with someone. I started to even feel unsafe around my parents, and slowly their patient ended.

At the age of 14, my dad began to beat me up several times. I still got bruises to prove it. It was a nightmare year... I saw all my "friends" that got seperated from me forming a band, and I got intrested. I joined them as the leadsinger with both growl and clean singing. We got really good, and my disease slowly began to dissappear. But soon i realised that no one was paying attention to me. I began to slowly conspirate that everyone hated me, and that the world was a pact against me, so i quitted school and locked myself in the room as i did the year before.

this time it was much worse, I was still deeply in love with the girl who rejected me, and it was until now i seriously thought about suicide (Even if ive always had it in mind, the desire was never so strong). My dad began to scold me and beat me up harder. He expected me to be like him, strong, smart and a casanova. He thought that beating me up would make me tougher, but it was quite the opposite. It made my disease stronger and now i could spend weeks alone in my dark room.

But there was a girl... i met over the internet from Japan. She was really nice and so, but as we all know, japanese girls often tend to become crazy in those who don't have "asian eyes". She became crazy in me, but i didn't look for an affair! I just wanted a friend... so i left her (She stills spams me, last mail was sent today, 2 hours ago).

But after that, i met someone who helped me alot, but also made me confused. I who was so careful to not fall in love couldn't resist her iron grip. Eventhough she lives in the states, and i in europe, i feel very strong feelings for her, as strong as Matilda, or even more...

But when she told me she had a boyfriend, i got heartbroken.. I started to isolate myself again, but i didn't show it to her... I didn't want her to see that im a weakling... After a while she broke up with her boyfriend, and i got so happy. But i were very very very careful.. I didn't want her to realise that i was so much in love with her.

But i was too careful, and she got a boyfriend again... This time, it struck me harder then ever... Ive never felt such sadness and despair... But soon, problems occured in the relationship, and they broke up again ( don't know why really). This time, i declared my love for her, thinking that i got nothing to lose since ive already lost everything.

She said yes, and these was the happiest weeks in my life... But she's pretty reserved and quiet, but i thought she's maybe just shy...
It came out that it is her personality, and i accepted that, but i felt that i needed more attention, i often got "angry" at her... But that was wrong... it was my fault for not being intressting enough and always whining and complaining about anything.. We got separated 2-4 days, but it felt like years....

Well, one day, my dad beat me up so hard, that my arm broke. I ran out of the house and got to the city. I slept underneath a bridge several nights starving. many times i thought about commiting suicide in the water. I talked with her and that japanese girl again, that i would go away and i apologized for everything. The japanese girl started to spam me again, but the US. girl really helped me. I was really close to commit it, but she stopped me at last second, and i thought... that she.. maybe ... would give me more attention..
First day, yeah she did... but after that everything went on normal, and her reserved attitued started again after some days.

But today, this morning, she... well... this is something that confuses me alot...
We had some... quality time, and... she told me she loved me...
But... also, the other girl that i was crazy in started to tease me. Eventhough my dad has stopped scolding me (Had a serious "talk") the school has noticed my disease, and they start teasing me even more

Well, now... she's that reserved again... and.. it really pains me to say this but... I feel that my emotions are being thrown around so much, that im considering suicide once again. I'm really sick of this shit, its not my fault that i have a ****ing thing that blocks me from talking to people... People say that i'm just overreacting, but try talking to someone when you feel that youve become speechless... I'm so tired of this shit, all i got to live for is 2 ****ing travel pussies, which is a bag you can **** (Lmao if you want, i would do that). And it's only once-a-time use. So when they are done, only God knows what will happen. I really love this girl from the states, more then anything but it will all end with someone (probably me) getting really sad or even commit suicide.



I know that i may sound like a ****ing emo kid or something, but it's true. i have a reciepe on my disease, and i wont hesitate posting a picture of it here. And why i chose this forum? To be honest, because i didn't know any other forum then *chan which's not quite well.
And sorry for writing so poorly... I have highest grade in english classes, but it's not easy to write when tears are dripping down your keyboard, so please don't complain...


And people i'd like to thank;

Demonkunga (For making NoggIt public)
FlyingPiggy (For his ME skillz)
Jack-O-Lantern ( Dunno if he's still here, but i really admired his warlock spellchanges)

And many more... which i don't remember.



And just a nice riddle which ive never solved ; "if the pen is stronger then the sword, why is acts stronger then words?"

thank you for reading.
God really nerfed me.. just like Blizz nerfed ME...

Nerfed Soul (lulz, im sooo dramatic....)

[Jankem]

/wrists = 6):

Suicide will send you to hell with no Epics or Fire Resist. Not a good idea.

[assasination]

I don't need fire res, since my heart is as cold as the lich kings iron grasp

(ooow y0 moma)

[Iraq]

is the "disease" your talking about social anxiety disorder?

[tyminatorx2]

Sounds to me like you need to grow some balls and be social.

Otherwise tell me where to send the bullet.

PS. What caliber?

[Vindicated]

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Your better than that.

[Clain]

Erhm don't go for internet guys, girls**.

[way2evil]

This is something I learned early on in life:
No matter how bad you have it, or how bad you think you have it, there is always somebody worse off.

Remember that.

[Thidan]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isO92H8OPs4&feature=related]YouTube - Bullet For My Valentine - No Easy Way Out (bonus track)[/ame]

[Hellgawd]

Whatever you do, don't read that moron's post above my post.
That is a sad story indeed

[Iraq]

the kid clearly has a mental disorder, anyone who feels the need to flame this person has some serious issues in their own life.

my advice for you assassination, is to find some help, you've got a problem which is probably social anxiety disorder, which is a chemical imbalance in the brain making it VERY difficult to communicate in social situations. There are **********s for this.

find help, suicide is not an answer.

[Apoc]

Perhaps you should learn a thing or two about psychology before making a fool of yourself. I honestly can't tell if you're trolling or not - if so, you got me. First of all, how could you possibly know his "social disease" isn't real? Without even having the slightest clue as to what you're talking about you have the nerve to go and tell him it's imaginary? You seriously need to get over yourself. Your post leads me to believe you have more problems than he does. If it was as easy as just "stop being irrational and become real" depression and suicide would be a non-issue. It seems that if anyone needs to stop being irrational and become real, it's you. If society had to choose between you and the OP, we'd be better off without you. Sorry.

Couldn't agree more.

But please snip the quote if you can.

[Bossqwerty]

@Rem
Perhaps you should learn a thing or two about psychology before making a fool of yourself. I honestly can't tell if you're trolling or not - if so, you got me. First of all, how could you possibly know his "social disease" isn't real? Without even having the slightest clue as to what you're talking about you have the nerve to go and tell him it's imaginary? You seriously need to get over yourself. Your post leads me to believe you have more problems than he does. If it was as easy as just "stop being irrational and become real" depression and suicide would be a non-issue. It seems that if anyone needs to stop being irrational and become real, it's you. If society had to choose between you and the OP, we'd be better off without you. Sorry.

[Liquid Malfunction]

where does your dad live (mafia family ftw) just jking I wouldn't do something like that