Guide to Not Posting Your Inane Crap (On the WoW Priest boards)

[Alkhara Majere]

Warning-
This is one of my "I hate morons" thread. Its funny to read...if your not me, or one of the people I currently hate. :yuck::wavey::devillaugh:

Ok, we all know the (the offical WoW Priest boards) boards are awash with inane banter and teenage angst. But occasionally there is a gem, a priceless nugget of actual information and discussion that educates us and helps us grow as human beings. Or at least kill Blood Elves. faster. But in 30 seconds, even in the priest forums, important threads that you should read get bumped off by stupid crap. Hard numbers testing on aggro gains gets bumped by the two billionth raTE MY SPEC PLZ@! thread. But I have a plan.

I have created this FAQ, and what you should do before you EVER POST ANYTHING EVER is to read back over the FAQ and make sure your topic is not addressed. If it is addressed, then immediately not post. If it isnt addressed, you still probably should not post. Because the goal of this FAQ is for you to shut up. Note that I will also take my own advice and shut up after this, unless I have something non-retarded to say. Which is not likely!


How do I use this FAQ?
Why is this a question in FAQs? Are people this retarded? Anyways, you use this FAQ by reading over it anytime you have the unnatural desire to post. Either you will see your topic ridiculed, or be generally too embarrassed to post realizing that we dont like you, which will mean this FAQ is a success.

What race should I
Undead.
Dwarf.
Period.

But I picked
No. You were wrong. I wish this werent the case, but it is. There are not tradeoffs. You unknowingly picked the wrong race. This means racial trait questions, race questions, anything with the words night elf, should not be posted. Dont ask me, ask the assweasels that coded racial traits/spells. If you feel the need to justify your poor choice, please do so here and get it allllll out, so the no more posts ever have to be mislead by your choices.

OMG I can't be a gnome priest?! Petition time!
Shut. Up.

Even if we did give a crap (which we don't), there are 2 priest races for horde, and 3 for alliance. They won't be adding a 4th priest race to alliance just because you have some lame ass gnome guild idea. Just be a dwarf and take my initial advice on this subject.

Staff/dagger/mace?
Ahh another daily thread favorite. Seriously you need your feeding tube removed if you ask this. You likely have a staff... and have a dagger/mace... use which is better. How hard is that? If you are worried about keeping up weaponskills then reroll a warrior, and make sure to post in the warrior forums so they can tell you how to play your character... If you deeply in your heart require an answer, then here it is:

Staff

There you go problem solved, no need for any more threads about that. Youre welcome. If you find a better weapon combo thats not a staff You can just go ahead and use it without getting forum approval

Where do I
Thunder Bluff.

Rate my spec!
FIRSTLY, AND LISTEN UP!
Do not cut and paste your spec as some 50 line piece of garbage with a space after every line that takes 3 pages to read. Even in an instance where people feign interest in your dumb spec:

FROM NOW ON, USE A 5 LINE MAXIMUM TO DESCRIBE YOUR SPEC

Your absolute laziness to use copy/paste instead of typing 10 words makes everyone else scroll past the spam of crap and not read it. Here is an example of a good way:

22 Shadow, mindflay/VE, Blackout over spirit Tap
10 Holy, renew and healing
19 Disc, focused casting and imp. mana burn

You read that, because it was less than 50 lines. Lets stick to that format in the future.

OK, now onto why we don't want to hear about your spec ideas. I want this to be very clear. Your spec is not original. It is not creative. It is not a beautiful and unique snowflake. It is not only plainly obvious, but 200,000 people have already tried it and specced out of it. Going disc! or Tri-spec! is not cutting edge or unique. There are tradeoffs to specs sort of but seeing as you can switch specs for virtually nothing who cares? Your spec might be the exact worst possible combination of talents that you could possibly pick (meaning you probably have a lot in holy) just respec. But whatever you do, do this without letting us know about it. Because we dont care.

Holy or Shadow?
Shadow.

Ok really, for a pre-50 priest there is no excuse not to be at least like ~21 shadow. Your first 5 points should be Spirit Tap, for any priest ever created, ever. The next 2 should be Improved Power Word: Pain, then do whatever you feel like. You do not need the 10% more efficient heals for pre-50 instances, you just need to collect 5 bear asses faster. For basically nothing you can then respec to whatever post-50. Then discipline talents for mana and holy talents for efficiency then can really pay off. But until then its not a post-worthy discussion. If you want to be Sir Healsalot, youre better off going mostly shadow so you more quickly get to a level where people give a crap about your heal efficiency. Post-50 respec into whatever your heart desires, just make doubly certain you dont post inane crap about it.

The entire Holy/Shadow endgame debate is dumb. You dont have to choose, DO BOTH! You go holy/disc you raid 212,157,032 times, battlegrounds is released over next Christmas, by the next summer its playable, you respec to Shadow and wtfpwn. Holy/disc is better for raids. There I said it. It just is. Your ability to outlast in a long boss fight is much higher than otherwise. Shadow/disc is just plain old, flat out, no holds barred, better for pvp. But group heals and efficien Shut up. Silence will heal more hp through damage prevention than anything else you can dream of. Im not saying shadowform all day long (although...), but that if all you gained was silence from shadow youd still be better for pvp than any holy spec. I can see good tri-specs for the heal crazy, because you will still be able to renew yourself before the assist train grinds your ass down.

But seriously, the debate can end: It doesnt matter, you can go respec whenever. I could be wrong, who cares? If I am Ill just go click my trainer once. I just dont want to hear about it.

Priest is OH SO HARD at my level
No it isnt. Did you spec shadow? If not, you lose. If you did, you still lose because you suck. There are some spots where its harder, when your dot and nuke are a level from refreshing or your melee weapon is out of date. But really, WoW is so much easier across the board for leveling than any mmo ever made. Go quest, go group, go whatever. You can DO NOTHING BUT SIT ON YOUR ASS and you make exp. Having trouble leveling? Go sit on your ass watching VH-1 for 2 days, then come back. I dont remember where quests are for your level, I dont give a crap either. Go get a job and rest exp will solve your problems.

Oh noes, I stand in the back and never get any loot!
Join a guild. Then you'll get all the silk cloth your heart desires.

What profession should I take?
Alchemy/herbalism
Mining/Engineering
Tailoring/Enchanting

or whatever else... I don't care. You don't care enough to do your own 2 minutes of research, and no one else cares what you do. So lets just wrap up this question for good. It doesn't have that much to do with class, and more on if you want to make items or money. If you absolutely need an answer in order to shut up here you go:

Mining/Engineering

If you don't like that... then pick something else... just don't tell us about it.

When should I cast fade?
Group with warriors.

Ok, warriors that don't suck.
That cuts about 80% of warriors out.

Does blackout ever proc on dot/mindflay ticks?
Now this isnt a dumb question. The dumb part are the fifty guys that post OMG I totally saw my friend once cast and it totally looked like it stunned on the 3rd tick, I swear! (like Fangtooth.. muhaha) and they misinform the public. Blackout does not proc on ticks. Ever. Its not a debate, it simply does not happen. It procs on the initial cast, so not even the first tick 3 seconds later but the application of a dot can trigger blackout. If you swear to Jebus that you saw it proc on the third tick at 4am one night then please dont ever post about your unique experience. Unfortunately if you check your combat log, you will see the error of your lagged ways. Any shadow spell that causes damage, including weird crap like touch of weakness, can trigger blackout on the initial application only. Note that I said shadow spell that cause damage, not just shadow damage, which brings us to the weekly thread on:

Vampiric Embrace and Shadow wands??!?1
When you discover the vast right-wing conspiracy that shut down your beautiful pipe dreams of getting heals off using a shadow wand, keep the secret info to yourself. Keep it on the down low, because discovering this deep dark secret and keeping it quiet on the streets separates the something from the something Anyways, wands are considering melee attacks just like ranged bow and gun attacks, they just get reduced by resists rather than AC, and Vampiric Embrace clearly says spell damage. Shooting crap from a stick != spells, shooting crap from your fingers = spells. Increasing your +damage to shadow spells does not effect shadow wands either, because wands are not spells. So its not a bug, its working as intended. And since it doesnt matter at freaking all, theres no need to post about it.

GOD mind soothe/mind vision/holy fire/holy nova/spirit of redemption/the holy tree/whatever-else totally SUCKS OMG REMOVE IT!
Thanks for the insight. We all know this. Anyone who can read knows this. Apparently the spell/talent coding devs don't fall into that category, as I can't see how a grade school educated person coded holy fire without it being a joke. There's nothing to say about these abilities that doesn't violate the language.

Int or Spirit or Mana every 5 seconds or what?
Ok this really isn't a stupid question. Just the answers get confused and unknown, and I'm tired of seeing the daily thread asking about it. It's the sort of info that would be kept on the front page if people decided not to post about itches in their personal areas or exactly which millisecond they like to cast fade, and other such things. So here is one actual non-jackass thing I can provide:
At level 60:

1 int = 15 mana to your max, 16.5 if you've got 5 in mental strength (10% more mana talent)

Mana regen every tick (2 seconds) = 13 + (Spirit/4)
So
1 spirit = 1/8 or .125 of a mana per second regen outside of the 5-second rule

1 int = 120 seconds of mana regen of 1 spirit (15 mana/.125 mana per second) or 132 seconds if you have mental strength

Under normal regen:
1 mana regen every 5 seconds (.2 per second) = 1.6 spirit (.2/.125) (Hint: this sucks, you get like 5 mana regen eq that takes the place of 20 spirit eq)

Under the 5-second rule:
1 mana regen every 5 seconds = 10.66 spirit, only if you have 5 points in meditation (.2/0.01875). If no meditation than spirit provides zero regen inside the 5 seconds. (This is awesome, as 300 spirit AND meditation is as good as having simply 30 mana regen every 5 seconds).

And finally, 1 int = 75 seconds of 1 mana regen every 5 seconds, or 82.5 seconds with mental strength.

What this boils down to is int kicks ass, and higher int is always better than higher regen (except in high end boss fights). Spirit is way better than mana gained every 5 sec for resting downtime, but during a long fight the mana regen stuff is way better than spirit even with meditation. Also keep in mind Spirit tap works off your spirit and not anything else, so if you're grinding mobs and want less downtime then go full throttle spirit.

What's the 5-se...
After any spell is sucessfully cast, you don't regen mana for 5 seconds afterwards. So while casting a long spell you regen while waving your arms about, if you get interrupted you still regen, but once it casts you have 5 seconds of no regen. There is a talent (and epic equipment that you won't get) that lets you regen a percentage during these 5 seconds. Spirit tap gives you 50% of it's benefit under the 5-second rule.

And by the way, there is no spirit soft cap at 300. There is no spirit soft cap at 300. There is no spirit soft cap at 300. There is no spirit soft cap at 300. It existed during beta before the 5 second rule to prevent weird people from regening faster than they could heal. It was removed since it didn't work =) But the 5-second rule was added...

Ok, that was way too much writing without belittling anyone. That means the FAQ is over, so go away you trolling carebear farming ninjalooting nightelf overpowered no-life ROLEPLAYER! (buahahaha... picture the guy that just slammed his fist onto his desk)

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Join the Jerk Police!
Agree with my seething hatred? Want to see our board (by that, I mean the WoW Priest boards) clutter-free? Here's an idea:
When some one makes a thread pertaining to a topic I have covered, do not answer them. Instead ridicule them, and link this thread for their future reference.

----(please leave the copyright info below intact)----
This post is copyright by the user posting it and MMOwned.com - World of Warcraft Exploits,Hacks, Bots and Guides, where it was posted. You may not copy or reproduce the above on any other site without written permission from both the poster and MMOwned.com

[Snor11]

no!!!!!!!!!!!

[Alkhara Majere]

no!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeeeeesssssssss!!!!!!!!!

[Flying Piggy]

You're right , this is fun to read : )

BTW , may i still say im a Tauren Shaman 6):

LOL

[Enfeebleness]

i posted, there, you happy?

kthx.

WORLD ESPLODE

[Detzett40]

i wish i could make a gnome priest to how ironic :mwink: :mwink:
Majere :stick: Me :icon_sprint:

funny post though

[Roflcopterzzz]

that guide rox. xD

[Phrozt]

He needs a life if he cares that much about the boards imo

[Carmbas]

omg I love you

[Alkhara Majere]

He needs a life if he cares that much about the boards imo

And you need a life if you just took the time to read that. Lets face it

omg I love you

I love me too :yuck:

[Sh4d0w]

Wow...just wow..xD

[Detzett40]

He needs a life if he cares that much about the boards imo

umm u could just tell him that he needs a life intead of telling everyone else he needs a life...

[Innit]

i lawl'd.

www.just****inggoogleit.com

Hopefully that won't be blocked out.