Really, really fake patch notes for 3.3.4 menu

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  1. #1
    hp94's Avatar Legendary
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    Really, really fake patch notes for 3.3.4

    These are some patch notes that I got that were quite a good read. I hope everyone enjoys them.

    PS: I was told they were real. I don't believe, and I wouldn't really stake anything on them because I can put 2 and 2 together. My friend hates haste stacking players, and what gets nerfed when I read these? Well, you'll see.

    World of Warcraft Client Patch 3.3.4

    The latest patch notes can always be found at WoW -> Patch Notes -> Current Patch Notes

    --General
    -Knockbacks once again dismount players when struck by a non-player source. You will still be knocked back a short distance before being able to resume flying when struck by a players spell, but when afflicted by an environmental knock back, you will be dismounted.
    -The messages, “You are not in a raid group” “You are not in a party” and “Not enough players. This game will end in 5 Min.” should no longer appear multiple times.
    -The necessity of armor penetration is being reduced. The way armor is calculated on non-player creatures is being changed.
    Currently, armor is calculated as such:
    If: (level<60) A=400+85*targetlevel
    Else: A=400+85*targetlevel+4.5*85*(targetlevel-59);
    Now it should be closer to:
    If: (level<60) A=485+84*target level
    Else: A=400+85*target level+4*85*(target level-59);
    -Dalaran should no longer cause slow frame rates to such an extreme on lower end computers.
    -Pictures of the new spell animations can be found on the World of Warcraft official site.

    --Classes: General
    -Area-of-Effect Damage Caps: We've once again redesigned the way area damage is capped when hitting multiple PvP targets. There is no longer damage caps when affected by tenacity.
    -Parry: The Mage, Warlock, and Priest classes may now learn the Parry ability at level 30 at each of their respective trainers.
    -Spells: Many classes have had their main spells for each specialization (For example; Shadow Bolt for Warlocks) consolidated into one rank that scales with level. This is in preparation for Cataclysm.
    -Haste for spell casters is now slightly less effective. It has come to our attention that some classes were able to do too much damage in too little time. It will now require approximately 15% more haste rating to reach the pre-patch equivalent. Percentage based spell haste, such as Maelstrom, will not be affected.
    -Training costs for all classes are in the process of being rebalanced.

    --Races: General
    -Orc and Troll Shamans may now customize their totem art at their trainers, switching between five different types of totems at any time. This service costs 5 gold per change, with rates never increasing. Totems may be specific to dual specializations.
    -Will of the Forsaken now shares a 35 seconds cool down with similar effects, including the Medallion of the Horde, Titan-Forged runes, Insignia of the Horde, etc. Down from 45 seconds.
    -The Human Spirit: No longer a human racial.
    -Humans Diplomacy has been reworked. Instead of increasing reputation gains associated with killing blows, it now increases reputation gained when you turn in quest items or quest goals by 25%. It also increases spirit by 3%.
    -New Human Racial: Persistence: Increases running, mounted, and vehicle speed by 3%. Increases haste, intellect, and strength by 1%.

    --Quests: General
    -The Heroic Daily Dungeon now rewards 25 Arena Points and 500 honor in addition to its current rewards.
    -The Daily Dungeon now rewards 10 Arena Points and 200 honor in addition to its current rewards.

    --PvP
    -Players must now also kill Emalon the Storm Watcher, Koralon the Flame Watcher, and Toravon the Ice Watcher to complete the meta achievement “Master of Wintergrasp.”
    -Earth, Wind, and Fire is now called. “Coalition of Elements.” It requires that all the bosses within Vault of Archavon be downed within five minutes of each others death. If you have already earned this achievement it will not be removed.
    -Battleground Experience: Battleground experience gained is now much more flexible. The players who earn the most Killing Blows, Honorable Kills, Damage Done, Healing Done, Vehicles Destroyed, Secondary Goals Achieved, and Flags Captured will earn 25% more experience and honor then someone who has not reached the top of the charts. Players will not have reduced rewards for being on the bottom of the charts, even if the number is 0.
    -City guards are now level 80 and have substantially higher health. They also deal damage based on a percentage of health, and attacks ignore armor. If you are a plate wearing class, you will see a slight increase in damage done to you, if you are wearing cloth, you will see a significant drop in the damage done to you.
    -Silithus is seeing cataclysmic changes! The race to collect Silithyst is of paramount importance to the horde and alliance! Silithyst, which is sitting in huge reserves in major cities, must be taken by force. There is now a PvP quest that can be completed each week to kill a city boss and steal their Silithyst.
    -Starting a duel will now cause the 3 second countdown to appear in the middle of the screen as well as in the chat log.
    -All fear effects have an increased effect to break on targets that absorb damage as opposed to being affected by damage. DoT effects have a lower chance to break fear and direct damage has a higher chance to break fear.

    --Dungeons & Raids
    --The following changes are in effect for normal and heroic modes.
    -Utgarde Keep: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%.
    -The Culling of Strathholme: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%.
    -Ana’kahet: The Old Kingdom: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%.
    -The Violet Hold: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%. All portals spawn 15% faster to compensate.
    -Halls of Stone: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%. Less creatures spawn in most areas of the instance.
    -The Oculus: The creatures in this instance now drop 100% more gold and silver per creature and has a higher chance to drop rare and superior quality items. All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%.
    -The Nexus: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%. The Renew cast by the Initiates now heals for much less.
    -Azjol-Nerub: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%. Less creatures spawn in all areas of the instance.
    -Drak-Tharon Keep: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%.
    -Gun’Drak: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%.
    -Halls of Lightning: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%. The Lightning shield spells that players were dispelling is no longer afflicted by spell power.
    -Utgarde Pinnacle: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 15%. The Ritual Channelers can no longer cast Shadows in the Dark.
    -Naxxramas: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 30%.
    Onyxias‘ Lair: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 30%. Deep Breathe now occurs less often and causes less damage.
    -The Eye of Eternity: Malygos now has 30% less health, and deals significantly less damage. Sparks now grant players higher bonuses when killed.
    -The Obsidium Sanctum: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 30%.
    -Ulduar: All creatures and bosses have had their health reduced by 30%.
    -When the dungeon queue requests your attention it will cause a much louder sound. This can now be specifically changed under Sound & Voice - Sound options.

    --Classes
    -Death Knights
    Death Strike and Obliterate may no longer be used within 3 seconds of using Empower Rune Weapon.
    Empower Rune Weapon: Activation no longer grants Runic Power.
    Scourge Strike: The shadow damage portion has been increased by a slight amount.
    -Druids
    Cyclone now has a much faster and larger cyclone animation.
    Lifebloom: This spell will now return non-proportional mana per stack. A single stack will return 100% of the pre-patch amount, two stacks will return 175% of the pre-patch amount, and three stacks will return 250% of the pre-patch amount. For example, a return of 200 mana on two stacks pre-patch now returns 350 mana post-patch.
    Barkskin: All effects increased slightly.
    Travel Form: Speed while indoors or in combat and in Travel Form is now set at 20%. Speed while outdoors and out of combat in Travel Form is now set at 40%.
    Wrath: This spell now has a much brighter tail and should cause leaves to burst from the target when it lands successfully.
    -Hunters
    Explosive Shot: The new animation causes it to appear as if a large shell is sticking out of the target.
    Deflection: It is no longer possible to deflect Chaos damage.
    Eyes of the Beast: Now grants players that kill a pet under this effect a small amount of honor.
    -Mages
    Frostbolt: Now causes a large amount of snowflakes to burst from the target when it lands successfully.
    Fireball: Now causes a splash of lava to erupt from the target when it lands successfully.
    Improved Frostbolt: Now reduces the spells cast time by 0.05/0.1/0.15/0.2/0.25 seconds.
    Improved Frostbolt: Now comes with co-efficient reductions. Simply put, the more points that are in Improved Frostbolt the less that spell power affects Frostbolt.
    Deep Freeze: This spell now has a much larger spell co-efficient then it currently does.
    Fingers of Frost: There is now two charges that come with this beneficial effect. Each charge causes the target to be treated as if it is frozen, eliminating the ‘Ghost Charge’ effect players were often exploiting.
    Glyph of Ice Lance: This no longer causes increased damage to targets that are a higher level then the mage. They now cause Splinters to radiate from the non-player target, causing equivalent damage to each target within 15 yards that is not under the effects of crowd control effects that break on damage.
    Flamestrike: Separate ranks no longer cause separate DoT effects. The newest one applied will overwrite the previous ranks.
    Frost Warding: The amount of mana that can be granted at one time is now capped at 5% of the mages maximum mana. Any overflow damage will be applied to the ward.
    Polymorph: This will no longer heal the mage if it is reflected back onto the mage that originally cast the spell.
    -Paladins
    Chaos Bolt will now longer redirect 30% of the damage to the paladin that has cast any sacrifice spell.
    -Priests
    Prayer of Mending: Unused charges now returns 20% of the spells cost depending per stack when the spell dissipates. For example, if the spell is cast on yourself, and is used without it jumping to another player, 80% of the spells cost is refunded. If it is cast on a player and goes then entire duration without being used, it returns 100% of the spells cost.
    Mind Flay: The new animation for this spell causes a dark lash to hit the target every time damage it successfully hits.
    Smite: The animation is now much brighter,
    Holy Fire: The animation now reaches much farther into the sky.
    -Rogues
    Filthy Tricks: Now requires only one talent point. It reduces Distracts cool down by 15 seconds and Preparations cool down by 3 minutes.
    Shiv: Energy cost reduced slightly.
    Improved Ambush: Now causes your non-critical Ambushes to guarantee that the next Ambush will critically hit. Also removes the cool down on your Shadowstep ability when your Ambush does not critically hit.
    Setup: Removed.
    Initiative: Now also gives a 33%/66%/100% chance to add a combo point to the target after dodging their attack or fully resisting one of their spells.
    Garrote Silence duration has been increased by 1 second.
    Cheap Shot no longer shares diminishing returns with itself on non-player controlled creatures.
    -Shamans
    Lightning Bolt: This spell now causes the target to appear to be electrified after the spell successfully lands.
    Elemental Mastery no longer shares a cooldown with Nature's Swiftness.
    Thunderstorm reduced to an 8 yard knockback.
    Totems
    -Warlocks
    Soul Shard: Soul Shards now stack up to 10 until further notice.
    Chaos Bolt now correctly ignores all percentage based damage reduction effects with the exception of resilience.
    Shadow Bolt: The new animation causes a dark skull to borrow through the target after the spell successfully lands.


    -Warriors
    Spell Reflection will no longer reflect more then one spell. If multiple spells come into contact with a warrior that has this aura active, the one that the game determines was cast first, despite Art - Missile Speed configurations, will be affected by the reflection and the rest will hit the warrior as intended. This works for group wide auras in the same fashion.
    Cleave now hits all subsequent targets within 8 yards of the target.
    Cleave is now affected by an Area of Effect damage cap.
    Whirlwind now has an Area of Effect damage cap.
    Whirlwind now hits all targets in melee range, but most will see less damage after 3 targets have been hit.

    --Bug Fixes
    -Mana drain spells will no longer occasionally break crowd control effects when they deal no damage.
    -Causing damage to large amounts of players and non-player creatures will no longer cause rapid deterioration of Durability.
    -Long single target fights will no longer cause a larger then intended amount of Durability loss.
    -Players that get disconnected by taking the portal from outside of the room holding the Wintergrasp Titan Relic while on a flying mount, and jumping soon after will no longer run faster or fly without being mounted.
    -Siphon Life: The tool tip is now correct.
    -Corruption: The tool tip is now correct.
    -Typing in any /run command that results in a scm command (SendChatMessage) will no longer cause disconnects after a new attempt to type.
    -Typing in a /run command that results in a SendMail command can no longer result in server restarts when used excessively.
    -Fishing is now on a one second cooldown.
    -Disconnecting while casting a spell that causes a player to mount will no longer cause them to move freely through certain terrain.

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  2. #2
    Subset's Avatar Vanaka
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    I found an error!
    Ana'kahet is wrong spelling, might want to highlight or color the haste part.

  3. #3
    Hurracane's Avatar Sergeant
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    Really, really bad patch notes...

    This is stupid, why would running dungeons give a pvp reward... it makes no sense..

    Whirlwind now has an Area of Effect damage cap.
    Whirlwind now hits all targets in melee range, but most will see less damage after 3 targets have been hit.
    Is already planned for cataclysm, with some differences...

  4. #4
    Aldun's Avatar Banned
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    The amount of typos only already indicates its fake..

  5. #5
    hp94's Avatar Legendary
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    Originally Posted by Aldun View Post
    The amount of typos only already indicates its fake..
    One?

    Ana'kahet vs Ahn'kahet?

  6. #6
    alj03's Avatar Contributor
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    I could come up with my own patch notes? :P
    Death to all but Metal.

  7. #7
    Lexodia's Avatar Master Sergeant
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    Soul Shard: Soul Shards now stack up to 10 until further notice.

    LOL, like this'll work out

  8. #8
    Aldun's Avatar Banned
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    Originally Posted by hp94 View Post
    One?

    Ana'kahet vs Ahn'kahet?
    Way more. Look through the text and you'll find them. Typo's include punctuation and capitals eh.

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