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  1. #1
    minifss's Avatar Contributor
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    How to gear up like a MF'ing Champion


    So you're 110, right? ****ing dinged just barely, and now your badass self is wanting to get into those sweet Nighthold raids you've been hearing so much about lately.

    And what's that about "Mythic plus" dungeons? Jesus that sounds like an awesome deal. Gimme some of that too, right?
    Well, first you gotta realize that your badass self can't compete in badass content just yet. You gotta gear up like a Mutha****in' Champion first.
    But how do you do that!?


    Couple of notes:


    • If you ain't 110 yet, this guide ain't for you.
      • 90-100 - go quest, it sucks. Buy the 300% XP pots if you can afford them. Find a friend to commiserate with. Focus on completing the bonus areas.
      • 100-110 - quest. Legion's not that bad, actually.

    • If speed-gearing ain't your priority, this ain't the guide for you.
      • Run WQ's endlessly if that's your goal. Go play in the kiddie pool while you're at it. This guide is for MF'ing Champions.

    • This is aimed at those that want to gear fast, like a MF'ing Champion, and get to the latest content as quick as possible.
      • Alts or mains, this should work fine for either.



    FIRST THINGS FIRST
    So your iLvl is 780, you can't do shit right now. **** you, right? Wrong, bitch.
    You see those WQ's everywhere on your map? Yeah, those ones.
    **** em.
    You heard me.

    • (Unless, of course, they're part of an emissary quest or Class Order Hall Quest, in which case focus on the ones that give gear. But mostly just **** em.)
    • Always do the World Boss WQ's. They drop some beast as **** gear at 860 ilvl to start. If it's Withered J'im? Grab that Arcanocrystal!

    LFG is there for a goddamn reason. Open up LFG, create a group under "Mythic Maw of Souls" (not mythic+ just yet, cowboy. Gotta walk before you can run, you feel me?). Title it "LF Carry in Maw of Souls", description "wanting to gear up this alt (or toon, feel free to lie and say it's an alt, no one gives even one goddamn ****), help appreciated." Make sure you're in DPS spec, even if you want to heal/tank as your main spec eventually (just change your loot spec to whatever you want to gear up first).
    You already got 3 people applying to your little group, don't you, you glorious bastard? Why did that work so goddamn well? Because people want to complete mythic dungeons, and MF'ing Champions want to help out other MF'ing Champions. People are pretty goddamn awesome when you give them a goddamn chance to be.

    • NOTE: If you can afford to be picky in selection, try to get as many people with the same gear type as you (plate/leather/mail/cloth), because, guess what? All they want is Artifact Power (we'll go over that in a second, hold up on the questions) from these dungeons, and they can trade their drops to you for instant iLvl gains. Your first three mythic dunegons will increase your iLvl by insane amounts (don't get used to it, it slows down).
    • SECOND NOTE: If you're in an established guild ask them if they'll run your ass through mythics before you try LFG. This is just the worst-case scenario for someone completely in the dark.


    You likely picked up some quests that require you to go to specific dungeons, just create another LFG for those dungeons. At the end of the day you can run those emissary quests before they expire (higher iLvl drops higher equipment).

    In one day of 4-5 dungeons you went from 780 to 820 or so. Easy as shit.
    So you can either get 790-810 ilvl gear from WQ's like a little bitch, or 840 gear (with procs up) from Mythics like a MF'ing Champion. Up to you. Choice is pretty clear to me, though.

    LFR

    Now, don't get me wrong. When you are truly a MF'ing Champion, you won't really be doing LFR unless you're trying to farm legendaries or AP, but for now you're just a MF'ing Champion-in training. Gotta walk before you r-...you get the idea.
    Once you hit 825, start up a LFR. Yes, they suck in there. Yep, a lot complain like little bitches. Take solace in the fact that you are not, in fact, a little bitch, and you're suffering their presence to get you through your "cocoon" phase. If the tank pulls like a troll, just ride it out, vote to kick him, wait for the bitches to leave, because their replacements can only be better. Don't worry about your DPS, just worry about your rotations. Get them down, work on them, look them up under several mediums - Icy Veins, Noxxic (see below), Wowhead, Discord. Get advice from "leaders" of your class, don't listen to your bitch guild mate that pulls 250k.
    LFR time is practice time. It's the time that you can ignore mechanics to get good at your class basics. Normal and onwards is when you take it to the next level. You know. Walking. Running.

    ABOUT NOXXIC

    So some of you Champions are claiming Noxxic is not a place that MF'ing Champions should go. I can't believe I have to put this in here for you, but just to clarify - I agree. Noxxic is probably the worst source out there for information. Take it all with a grain of salt.
    However it is still a goddamn source of information that you can leverage against other sources. As a MF'ing Champion in training, you should do the research and come to your own goddamn conclusions, that includes bad advice, son. So learn how to weed out the bad from the good, you magnificent sonuvabitch!

    MYTHIC+

    Remember when you did that first Maw of Souls Mythic dungeon and all those 880's carried your bitch ass and suffered through the 3 or 4 times that normal mechanics one-shot you? Remember how at the end you picked up something called a mythic keystone? Where is it?
    Arcway?
    No?
    Sweet. List under that dungeon for a mythic+ dungeon. "+2 (or whatever it upgrades to) my key, your carry." Keep the description the same as the "FIRST THINGS FIRST" section above.
    Remember how people just want Artifact Power (AP)? Yeah people love carrying keystones for AP. Trust me. Just list it, even if it takes a minute you'll usually get some bites (and hell, you might even be able to hold your own at this point, you dog!). If you're able to pull several over 870 ilvl you should easily 3 chest that business.
    Now look at your keystone. +5 [name]. What's the name? Arcway? Halls of Valor? Yes? Well you're SoL then, friend.
    If not, just list it again. Keep doing that until you run out of MF'ing Champions to help you, you get the two "keystone killers" mentioned above, or you deplete the key (don't finish it on time). Go as high as you ****ing can. Remember you're a MF'ing Champion in training. Put on your big boy pants and keep running keystones.
    But LeeedgeEndDairy, I don't think I can do a +7 Keystone!
    Get out. MF'ing Champions don't have that attitude. Stretch your comfort zone, bitch.
    Okay, what's your iLvl now? 840? 850? Higher?? Did you grab your first goddamn legendary yet?
    Now's the time to pause for a minute and catch up on your emissary WQ's. Particularly catching up on your Class Order Hall.

    ANOTHER QUICK NOTE & EDIT ON MYTHIC+

    So a number of you seem to be upset that I mentioned this dungeon and didn't mention that one or whatever. So here is a tier list of keystone dungeons from best to worst by /u/blizznwins:

    • I've boosted hundreds of M+ dungeons and its basically like this:
    • Tier 1: Maw (Godlike 8-10 mins/run, Memento of Angerboda being one of the best melee trinkets out there)
    • Tier 2: CoS, EoA, VotW, DHT, Arc (all completed within a max of 18 minutes, some giving godlike trinkets like Chrono Shard or Tirathon's Betrayal)
    • Tier 3: NL (not too bad actually but the loot is not too good for most classes)
    • Tier 4: BRH (Takes too long and there are some groups that can easily wipe you if misplayed)
    • Tier 5: Halls of Valor or HIV, at least that's what we call it. If you get it just delete your key.

    I would tend to agree (and /u/blizznwins is likely a lot more of a MF'ing Champion than I am, to be fair), however keep in mind that CoS and Arcway may be unpopular choices simply due to lack of knowledge on your server. Attempt to get them "boosted" but if you end up waiting for a long time be willing to call it quits.
    Also, a few others have brought up searching for carries rather than posting them. Groups will often offer carries, but you have to have to correct keystones (usually only Maw) for them to take you, it's not guaranteed. Try to find some carry groups, then if that fails, post your key as per above.
    Best of luck, you goddamn glorious bastard.

    ORDER HALL

    Prioritize your Order Hall quests before anything else. Burn through those damn follower quests as fast as possible, and run the mythic dungeons they send you to. Finish the lame travel quests that take forever, until you're all the way done and you have your third relic and all that sweet, sweet AP they give you too.
    Make sure that you've purchased all 15 AK that you can get (or 20, obviously, if this is an alt and your main has 25 AK - but if that's the case you should already be a MF'ing Champion and not need this guide). Dump your Bloods of Sargeras into Resources for now. Yes this is wasteful, but you want that second legendary slot as soon as possible, you can worry about making piles of gold later, right now you need deeps (or heeps, or...uh...teeps?).
    At this point, with 15-17 AK, you should be close to your 3rd golden trait, or ~20-25 AP levels (not AK levels) in. That's important because now your DPS is starting to matter, you're not just getting carried, you're actually seeing your DPS bar appear next to other players for once. Certainly not top damage, but it can't just be ignored anymore! This is good, you're finally becoming a MF'ing Champion, you've moved up to being able to at least swim in the same pool as the big boys, even if you're not in the deep end yet.
    Keep doing it. Keep running those mythics. Also, start doing AP item WQ's for emissary dailies. For the most part you can ignore the gear, unless it's a flat upgrade on something that hasn't dropped for you yet.
    Start looking up normal raiding mechanics, figure out how to do them and then queue up for them, encourage your guild to take you along, if they're cool with it (and completing them consistently. If your guild is 100% casual (Don't worry, plenty of MF'ing Champions are in casual guilds) it might be better to PUG it, even with the risks that come with PUGs).

    ARTIFACT POWER

    Now that you're all geared to ****, and only have weekly chances at higher gear (or high keystones when you can stomach a keystone grind for titanforged procs), it's time to grind out that AP. Most MF'ing Champions run keystones, but you can do WQ's, LFR, and/or follower missions as well. Spread out your methods so you don't get fatigued, because even MF'ing Champions can get fatigued, trust me.
    How about, as a MF'ing Champion, you ****ing pay it forward to other MF'ing Champions-in training while AP farming, you glorious ****? That's right, it's your time to shine, for those noobs to see those awesome numbers and thank you profusely for carrying their sorry ass in dungeons so they can get loot. Run a few keystones with them, get them all geared up, make some friends. Pretty soon that 825 scrub healer will be a 915 BD healer carrying your group's ass in the Tomb of Sargeras.
    In short. Be a badass, you badass.

    FINAL WORDS

    You'll reach 880 before you know it. After that it's just praying to RNGsus that you get the drops you're looking for. Remember that the name of the game is patience. It may take longer than 5 minutes to find a carry group. Hell it may take 30 minutes or more if it's a slow day or a "raid" day. Just remember a MF'ing Champion is as patient as he is glorious.
    Keep working on your DPS numbers (or HPS/tanking), and keep grinding that AP. At this point you've reached the bottom of the top of the pack, and it's time to claw your way ahead of the rest to start pulling bigger numbers, and getting those awesome AotC achieves and shit.
    All in all, the only person holding you back is you. And Gul'dan. **** that guy. But mostly you. You can easily get 860 iLvl in a few days, and 880 only takes a few weeks (or less if you're lucky/have a good bunch of MF'ing friends running you consistently through content).
    Or you can stay in the kiddie pool doing WQ's and LFR gaining 1-3 iLvl's per day.
    Up to you.
    Either way, best of luck, you badass MF'ing Champion.

    (source:
    reddit - LegEndDairy)
    Last edited by minifss; 05-18-2023 at 09:51 AM.

    How to gear up like a MF'ing Champion
  2. Thanks Levifer, Ginchy, sunshoes, ~Z~, CD307, hackerlol (6 members gave Thanks to minifss for this useful post)
  3. #2
    Levifer's Avatar Active Member
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    This is a cool written guide which made me laugh a few times.
    Thanks for the good time reading this!

    Although this guide is not entirely for me (already geared up in the 900 range), have a thanks and +rep!

  4. #3
    ChimpeonFan's Avatar Site Donator CoreCoins Purchaser
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    Nice read. I particularly like the expletives.

  5. #4
    minifss's Avatar Contributor
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    Yeah, I had some good laughs off of it!

  6. #5
    WorldsGreatest's Avatar Member
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    I am a mother ****** champion!!!!

  7. #6
    sunshoes's Avatar Contributor FANCY UNICORN RIDER
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    Funny, informative guide. Great write-up, +5.

  8. #7
    Neer's Avatar Trend Rider Authenticator enabled
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    Nice copy pasta +5.
    edit: Aah you added bold to the source Well done.
    Last edited by Neer; 02-07-2017 at 07:16 AM.

  9. #8
    minifss's Avatar Contributor
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    Yeah, I thought it deserved to be shared. And of course the source is rightfully there.

  10. #9
    TehVoyager's Avatar I just love KuRIoS
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    Originally Posted by minifss View Post
    You see those WQ's everywhere on your map? Yeah, those ones.
    **** em.
    You heard me.
    died.

    10characterslol


    (don't post things I post to Patreon.)

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