Long story short, my WoW is stuck at "Connecting", and doesn't reach authentication stages. After peeling through the US support forums, I find out tons of people are having the same problem.
Digging around, I find that my config.wtf doesn't match Blizz settings:
SET locale "enUS"
SET realmList "logon.prologue-wow.com"
SET hwDetect "0"
SET gxRefresh "60"
SET gxMultisampleQuality "0.000000"
SET gxFixLag "0"
SET videoOptionsVersion "3"
SET movie "0"
SET Gamma "1.000000"
SET readTOS "1"
SET readEULA "1"
SET showToolsUI "1"
SET Sound_OutputDriverName "System Default"
SET Sound_MusicVolume "0.40000000596046"
SET Sound_AmbienceVolume "0.60000002384186"
SET farclip "777.000000"
SET specular "1"
SET groundEffectDensity "24"
SET projectedTextures "1"
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A private server called PROLOGUE WoW. I tried putting in the US logon server, but as soon as I launched and closed out WoW.exe, the game changes it BACK to the private server.
I hate this patch.